How to Pick Up Women in Bars

Most importantly, this is not a guide on how to become a womanizer nor is the information meant to demean or degrade women. It is simply a guide on how to make you more appealing to women and make it easier for you to socialize with more women.
Alright, let’s get started!

Pick up lines. Completely forget about pick up lines. They are more of a stumbling block than anything else. When you finish following this guide, you won’t need them. In fact, the only place that I’ve seen pick up lines work with any consistency is in the movies. In the real world, women aren’t that impressed with witty first approaches. Women will occasionally give an absolutely great looking guy a pass when trying to be a smooth talker but for the majority of guys out there, I don’t recommend employing pick up lines as tools of this game.

What you will learn as you read further is that the game will come easy to you, almost as if you are stacking the deck ahead of time because, that is in fact what you will be doing.

Preparation. Before you do anything at all be aware that there are several things that you must attend to if you want to be successful at picking up women.

First of all you need to be sure that you frequent a place in the hours before the action begins in order to get yourself “known”. If you plan to pick up women at certain clubs or bars, visit the places when they are not so busy and get to know the bartenders, staff, bouncers and especially the owner or manager if at all possible. Give them your card (if you don’t have cards, get some made!) and get to know them well and get to a point where you can comfortably call them by name and they call you by name. This could take several visits but it is vital to your long term success at picking up women. Get in the habit of greeting them with a smile, a handshake or a wave when you walk into the place, anything as long as you acknowledge them. By doing this, you will establish yourself as the guy everyone seems to know and like. Women are naturally drawn to guys like that as they will often think “Who is that guy?” Regardless of whether you are good looking or not, you have their attention. Notice I used ‘their’ instead of ‘her’? That’s because you will get multiple women’s attention by being the guy everyone knows.

Be sure that you do the above with 3 or 4 places within walking distance of one another. It will come in handy in the later steps.

Remember that during the time you are frequenting a bar or club trying to get to know people, refrain from attempting to pick up women. Be patient because soon, you will have more women than you can handle.

Knowledge. Now that you have frequented a place long enough and you have become the guy everyone knows, it’s time to become the guy to know. Find out what the staff and owner are doing after closing. Quite often they want to cut loose after seeing everyone else having so much fun. Even if they don’t plan on going out themselves, they will know of parties and other events going on after hours. This is the knowledge that will give you more power.

Being the guy that always knows what’s going on makes you a very popular guy. You’ll find that women you’ve never met before will be seeking you out because you are the guy that knows all the best places and where the parties are at.

Later, when you start getting women talking and drinking with you, you’ll seem even more cool when you say, “Hey, we’re all going over to such and such after this. Why don’t you join us?” More often than not, she (or they) will.

Plan ahead. It is important to map out a plan of which bars or clubs you want to hit and in what order you want to hit them. This will make it easy as the night wears on and you find yourself with women around you that genuinely want to have a good time. You actually should get it in your mind that your goal is to take women from bar or club A and get them to bar or club C by the end of the evening. Maybe even more than that but it’s up to you and it depends on how the evening is going and if the girls seem up for it.

The big point is that getting a girl(or girls) out of bar A and taking them to bar or club B, essentially means that as soon as you walk into a new place together, she is(or they are) with you, whereas, at the other bar they came separately from you and could easily leave separately from you, which you want to keep from happening.

Now this has become an instant “date”. More information on getting from A to C later but for now, understand that a course plan is essential to your success. You can change the plan mid-game if you hear of a party that is going on or some other place that seems to be happening. But have a plan ready at all times.

Posture, Attitude and Manners. It’s important to pay attention to how you act when it comes to picking up women. Some dos and don’ts you can probably come up with yourself but I will mention some important ones that you should always follow.

First of all, stand up straight at all times and keep your chest up, not out. Keep your drink on the bar or table when you are talking to someone. When you reach for your drink, quickly reacquire eye contact with whom you are conversing with. If you need to hold your drink, hold it with your left hand low at your side with your right hand always being free in case you have to greet someone suddenly. Also, holding your drink up near your chest suggests that you want the other person to keep some distance from your personal space. Keeping it low and out of the way conveys the message that you are open and welcoming.

Be positive so you exude your confidence. Know that whenever you talk to someone, man or woman, they will respond to you positively. Get used to and be seen talking to men and women, young and old, hot or not, so that when you see a hottie you like later, she won’t think you are trying to pick up on her when you introduce yourself.

Never drink too much. You will ruin everything if you do. Think about why you are out on the town tonight. Am I out to get drunk or to get women? Know the answer before going out!

Home Base. Once you walk into a bar or club and have greeted everyone you know, set yourself up at the bar where you’ll have a good vantage point to see the door as well as central enough so you can socialize easily with people around you without too much movement. This will be your zone or home base as I like to refer to it. More on the use of your home base later.

Approach. You don’t need to have anything funny or unique here. If you see a woman that is your type and she’s with her friends, walk over to the entire group and say “Hey how are you all doing tonight? Are you having a good time?” Don’t focus on the one you want just yet. In fact, make sure you make friendly eye contact with all of them equally.

After asking if they are having a good time, you will get a good feel for their desire to have fun. If they want to have fun and they’ve noticed you as being the guy everyone knows and likes, they will open up to you right away. Don’t sit down with them unless they invite you to do so. Don’t stay there too long either. Keep the talk light and visit other groups of people too. Kind of like you are the owner of the place and you are making rounds to check on all of your customers.

Return. Now that you appear to be an equal opportunity socializer, take a walk back to your girl’s area of the bar and get another conversation going. Don’t worry about what they were talking about. Go over and say something like, “Hey I have a question. Who is that character in that movie…” or something meaningless like that. They will give you an answer and you say, “Ohhh yeah, that’s right!” and now you are off and running with a new conversation that you started and are in control of.

Invitation. Now is the time to take her (or them) to your home base. With a friendly pat on the back, physically lead her (or them) to your end of the bar with a quick “Hey, let’s go over here.” It is amazing what affect this has on women. They are customers in a bar but suddenly they will feel as though they are guests in your home. Now it is safe to offer a drink or some easy to eat snacks. The power of your suggestions triples when women.

Now before the conversation loses its fire go to the Final Round.

The Final Round. It’s funny how women’s minds work. You could walk straight up to a woman, ask her to dinner Friday night and she’ll turn you down flat. But after all of the above has been put in place, you can ask 3 women you’ve never met before to go with you someplace in the middle of the night and they will go. So do it. You know at least 3 or 4 more places nearby so simply stop the conversation with a “Hey, let’s get out of here. I know a place right down the street. Let’s go.”

You will have to gauge the timing of this as you don’t want to do it too soon and you don’t want to do it too late either! You also will have to gauge the mood of the women. If they seem to be having as much fun as you are, you’re good to go with this step.

Now, guess what? You will soon be walking into another bar or club with 3 women in tow. How’s that? Now, even if the one you had your eye on doesn’t work out, imagine what women at the other bar are going to be thinking when they see you walking in with 3 women as you greet the doorman, bouncers and staff like old friends. Let the night take you where it will from here.

Build a little black book. Be sure to give your card to the three women you were with and get their email addresses too. Now you are building a database of women you can contact for future nights out, parties and other events. Next time you plan to go out, email all the women you’ve gotten addresses from. Let them know when and where, and that it will be a lot of fun. What’s funny is that most guys try to avoid having all the women they’ve gone out with in the same place at the same time. That is backward thinking my friend. In fact, nothing is better than having 6, 8 or 10 women you’ve gone out with in the same room, even though you’ve never specifically asked any of them to “date” you. Women play the “we’re just friends” card all the time. So can you but don’t include the “just” part.

Final tips. With all of the information provided it’s easy to forget some common sense things that can make picking up women difficult if ignored. Here are some points that you should keep in mind and add to your checklist.

Don’t forget to dress well, shower and shave. Avoid looking too simple and wear something that makes you stand out in a crowd but don’t overdo it.

If you run into someone that you’ve met before or gone out with in one of your nights out, always acknowledge them with a smile and a greeting of some kind. Nothing will ruin your reputation more than ignoring people.

Never stare. That is creepy! Casual looks from across the bar are fine but get off your ass, walk over and be social with her and whoever she is with, even if she’s with guy. You’d be surprised how often it turns out that the guy is not her boyfriend!

Casually compliment her. Tell her that you like the watch she’s wearing or shoes or something that reflects her choices. Ask her where she got it but don’t ask how much it cost. Never compliment her on her looks. All that serves is to build her up and defeats the purpose of all the work you’ve done in building yourself up. Maybe once you’ve settled down with a girl you can do so but, when you are single and playing, you want to keep them guessing as to how attractive they look to you.

Take your time. Be yourself and be honest with whomever you meet. You’ll find that honesty will double your chances of success and create the foundation for future success!