How to Open a Set (Pickup)

If you’re new to pickup (or new to women) or just have approach anxiety, starting an initial conversation with a woman can be the most difficult thing in the world. But, have no fear! This guide will tell you what you need beyond the generic advice.

Chances are, if you found this article, you’ve heard all about the generic openers (such as jealous girlfriend, 80’s dogs, etc.) and tactics (3 second rule, opening over your shoulder, etc.) Those will not be addressed in this article, and if you don’t know those, any google search of pickup related material or any book on the subject will tell you.

First of all, here are a few things you should keep in mind.

1) Women usually like being approached.

Being hit on or approached can be a substantial part of a woman’s self-esteem. A common complaint among women with lower self-esteem is that they don’t get hit on enough, or even cat called. Yes, even that stereotypical image of a construction worker calling down to an attractive woman off of a steel beam is a good thing. Wouldn’t you be flattered and feel good about yourself if a woman were to come up to you and convey interest? Even if you were completely uninterested, you would probably be compelled to be friendly.

2) You don’t have to be perfect.

Sure, I admit, if you go up to approach Megan Fox on the street, you’ll probably have to do things pretty well. But for the most part, you have plenty of room for error.

3) Openers Do Not Have To Be Neutral

It is generally thought that openers should not convey your interest in a woman right away. This is simple not true, assuming you don’t come off as a drooling moron.

Alright, so onto the fun part: the techniques.

1) Expose yourself to an array of options, but learn only a few.

There are tons of openers online if you can’t think of something to say. However, most of them probably won’t work for you. Look for ones that match your style, learn them, use them, and debug them. Check out websites like for ideas.

But, you’re in luck. I’ll give you my favorite openers, the only ones I ever used in the field.

Opener #1: Carlos Xuma’s Opener

“If I said something interesting about your [blank], would you laugh and pretend I’m not flirting with you?”

This one is short, sweet, and very effective. Generally, you don’t even have to actually think of something interesting to say. I said this to my current girlfriend, and she didn’t like it. Just goes to show you, even if something doesn’t work right, it’s not necessary a loss.

Opener #2: Opening Herself Opener

Hey. Quick question. I was just in a discussion with a friend of mine about the best way to approach a woman. What would you want the first thing a guy would say to you to be? (Her answer) Ok, I’ll say that then. (Say what she said).

I created this one off a variation of one of Brent’s. You’ll get a wide range of answers from “Hi. My name is. . . ” to “Hi. I’m a billionaire with a 13 inch penis.” Whatever you get, just go with it. You can follow up with the first opener.

2) No booze. Try energy drinks.

if you need to feign confidence, don’t drink. Unless she’s had a few herself, chances are, it’ll just make you look bad. Try an energy drink for a little confidence boost(but not Red Bull. They’re expensive.) I prefer Low Carb Monsters myself ^_^.

3) Try going out in groups.

If you’re going out to a party or club to meet people, always bring a group of 3-4 or more. Even if they’re just your World of Warcraft-playing buddies. It does wonders for the attitude. If you have to meet women alone, try opener #1 in a more casual setting.

4) Meet women online.

Avoid sites you have to pay for like or eharmony. I prefer OKCupid, which is free. Even after becoming a master pickup artist, I ended up meeting my lover on OKC.